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In my 23 years, the world of dating has come and gone . . . and come
again, leaving me wondering: "Will I ever find someone?" Ask that
question and you're likely to hear something I like to call "single
people comfort statements." You've heard these stereotypical phrases
meant to comfort singles. These can be frustrating and hard to believe,
but truth lies deep within.
So, what should you do when you're worried you might never find your
match? Remember a few things.
There's a lid for every pot
I've been accused of being picky. I like my carrots raw, not cooked. I
like my boys tall and blue-eyed. Everyone has preferences. However,
there is such a thing as being too particular. If someone who doesn't
match your ideal is interested, don't immediately toss him or her aside.
The whole idea behind friendship and dating is to find out what you can
give to a relationship and what traits complement you best. The only way
to find out which person fits you best is to spend time with all kinds
of different people (all sizes and shapes of lids, if you will).
It will happen when you least expect it
I thought my first serious relationship would happen during high school.
When it didn't, I was worried. Then I graduated from college, still
without a mate, and panicked. How was I ever supposed to meet someone,
get married, and have a family if I wasn't dating anyone yet? As humans,
it is impossible to understand the choices God makes for us. But
remember that God is all knowing. Everything he does is for believers'
good.
If you wonder why you aren't in a relationship yet, take a look at a few
different areas of your life. Do you know what you want from life? Are
you confident in who you are? Most important, how is your relationship
with God? After all, how can you have a satisfying relationship with
another person if you don't have one with God first?
God's timing is perfect-he knows when you and your soul mate will be
ready for each other.
The glass is half full
As difficult as it is, maintaining perspective is key. You're not less
of a person because you're not dating someone. Being single gives you
time to do the activities that interest you, to spend time with friends,
and to meet new people-all things that are often hindered by romantic
relationships. Realize how much your friends and family love you and how
full your life really is.
I know people who married the first person that they dated and others
who have dated endlessly and are still single. At one time or another,
everyone wonders if they'll ever find the "right one."
Will I ever find my soul mate? I don't know the answer to that question.
But while I'm waiting, I'm asking God for guidance to make the most of
what I am given.
A few passages to get you through the rough days:
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Romans 8:28
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Psalm 40:1-3
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Psalm 18:1
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Lamentations 3:19-25
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Hebrews 11:1
Visit: http://www.christianitytoday.com/cl/2001/003/28.52.html
Also read: Is there anyone out there for
me?
Kristen Bright is a 2000 grad of Wisconsin Lutheran College. She works in the Mission Advancement Office of Wisconsin Lutheran High School, Milwaukee, WI.
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