What do we do when we don't like ourselves?

"I just hate myself," she told me. She was a 16 year old facing what felt like the crisis of her life.

Maybe you have been there. It always seems that there is someone who seems smarter, more attractive, a better athlete, makes more money, has a nicer girl friend/boy friend, or doesn't have your kind of family problems to deal with.

More than one person, teen or not, has been forced to deal with these kinds of feelings. Some of that could be perception. Some could be reality. The result is the same: we end up with feelings of not liking ourselves and all of the power of positive thinking and self-esteem helps in the world don't seem to change that.

What's the Cause?

The causes for these feelings have cursed pupils, parents, and pastors for generations. The cause on the one hand is the natural knowledge of God within each of us - you know, the sense everyone has that God exists. That sense, our conscience, pesters us like a swarm of gnats on a sticky, summer day. Our thoughts badger us. "You aren't good. You don't measure up. You are a failure."

Compounding these feelings is the second curse, the curse of Adam and Eve. It is the curse of our Old Adam who believes that we really deserve better, are better, are owed better. When these two curses collide, we feel hopeless.

What God Sees

Our loving God knows this war of despair goes on within each of us because he sees and knows all that we see and know… and more. That's why he sent a perfect Jesus. Jesus was tempted to all of these kinds of feelings, yet conquered them. He died and rose so that his victory would be our victory. That same loving God wants us to know that he has declared us perfect for Jesus' sake. That's what we mean when we sing:

-- Christian Worship 376:1

What God Wants Me to See

But when our emotions tell us on thing and God's Word tells us another, what do we do? The answer is: believe God and tell your feelings to get lost. It's tough to overcome feelings, but God is greater even than our feelings. Remember: he is God. So when our feelings condemn us, we turn to him, "for God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything" (1 John 3:19-20). He knows we are perfect in his sight. He knows he still loves and accepts us. Because of Jesus we believe God, not our hearts.

Feelings will lie to us. The truth is in Jesus. Believe him. Believe his word. He loves you even when you don't love yourself.

Be sure to read David Clark's companion article, "Believe God; Not Emotions"

Pastor David Clark serves the Savior at Grace Lutheran in Glendale, AZ.