Lesson 2: Stay in formation

Lesson 2

Geese have a second lesson for us. It is: "Whenever a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of trying to fly alone, and quickly gets back into formation to take advantage of the 'lifting power' of the bird immediately in front."

Olson's application is: "If we have as much sense as a goose, we will stay in formation with those who are headed where we want to go (and be willing to accept their help as well as give ours to the others)."

Our Application

Unfortunately, we don't always have a lot of "goose-sense." There are times we fall out of formation and, for a variety of reasons, do not make an effort to regain the support and "lifting power" from the group. What are some of the reasons we may find for trying to go it alone?

Reason 1: Self-pity

Everyone wants to fit in, to feel special, significant, needed, and wanted. Unfortunately, relationships don't always go that way. We may look at others' gifts and talents and feel that we don't have much to offer. Perhaps someone was short with us, or made an off-hand remark that made us feel unwanted. Our response? We pull away with a heavy heart, sinking into loneliness and rejection.

Reason 2: Rebellion

All right, so our brilliant idea was shot down by the group. Not only that, but it became the subject of every joke and a reason for several overly-helpful individuals to correct and criticize. "What do they know? What do we need them for?" We pull away and nurse our wounds.

Reason 3: Selfishness

"Why do these people take so long to learn a point?" "Why are they so slow in changing behavior that is not God-pleasing?" There are times when things are going so well for us that we become impatient with others, even feel that we are better than they, so we drift away.

Christ's grace pulls us close

The fall into sin destroyed not only our relationship with God, but our relationships with one another as well. We are constantly hurting, disappointing, and letting each other down. In contrast, Jesus is the only friend that never disappoints. He's forgiven us inside and out, made God our friend and Father, and empowered us to love others. When we discover who we are to him and in him, we become more secure in our relationships, more loving in those relationships, and better able to overlook others' short-comings. Remember: Love covers over a multitude of sins.

Conclusion

Are you allowing a misunderstanding or painful situation to create distance between you and Christians who are heading down the same faith road you are? Strong Christian friends are a blessing from God. Those relationships are worth fighting for. Make every effort to restore the relationship and quickly get back into formation.

Susan Bondow, MSW, member of St. Peter, Appleton, is a wife and mother of three. Susan has written Through The Looking Glass and Back with Pastor Paul Kelm and has a CD of original music, A Child Is Born.