Dating. Dating is something that links all teens. Butterflies in the stomach when that "special someone" walks past. Dreams of being together. Wedding plans.

However, most of the time you will not end up marrying the boy in Spanish class. Or the "most beautiful girl in your grade" whom you caught looking at you occasionally. So why date?

Dating lets you get to know a person

Dating helps you look at all the qualities of someone and really get to know him or her as a person. It teaches you a lot about people and different ways to interact with them. It allows you to build stronger relationships with other people as well as bettering your present relationships. Dating draws you closer to other families, and makes you more aware of the differences between your family and others.

Dating helps you define important qualities

The eventual purpose of dating is to lead you to the person you will someday marry. So it will help you to know exactly what qualities you are looking for in a future spouse. This is probably the hardest part of dating because when you are "in love" with someone you tend to overlook their less-than-admirable characteristics and see only the qualities that you like so much in them.

Overcoming dating blind spots

One of the best ways to overcome this problem is by getting input from others. Ask your family first. They are the people who have known you the longest and who have your best interests in their hearts. Also ask your friends. See if the way you view the other person is the same as that of your best friend. What do they see when they really get to know the other person? Finally, look deep into your heart. Ask yourself: Are they easily angered? Do they think they are better than other people? Will you be able to handle their weakness for every day of the rest of your life? If not, then maybe this is not the person for you.

More questions

There is another set of questions. Are you embarrassed by what they do or say? Do you share common interests and values? Are they Christian? Are they willing to attend church with you and pray with you? I realize that God can use you as his tool in sharing the Word, but you wouldn't compromise what you believe to make them more comfortable, would you?

So spend some time with that special someone. Take some of the neighbor kids to a movie. Bake cookies and make hot chocolate. Assemble a puzzle. Go to a Christian concert or attend a youth group activity. Get to know them. And enjoy the butterflies, dreams, and wedding plans.

Cindy Ewings was a teen correspondent for WELS Lutheran for Life-National Office. This article originally appeared in Beginnings magazine, March/April 2000. We thank Christian Life Resources (CLR) for permission to reprint it. For more Bible-centered information on life issues, see http://www.christianliferesources.com/.