Dialog on Dating (04/07)
Below is the script from the live chat "Dialog on Dating" held April 26, 2007, from 8-9pm CDT. Pastor Joe Johnson of True North Campus Ministry hosted this chat. True North is based out of the University of MN - Twin Cities campus. Pastor Johnson is pictured above with his wife, Valerie.
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 7:59:22 PM)
(This user has entered Dialog on Dating)
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 7:59:32 PM)
Good evening!
thea (Apr 26, 2007 7:59:38 PM)
evening!
carla (Apr 26, 2007 7:59:41 PM)
HI there!
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 7:59:43 PM)
HI Tim's girl welcom to the chat
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 7:59:49 PM)
Thanks
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:00:04 PM)
So are you single Tim's girl??
c (Apr 26, 2007 8:00:05 PM)
(This user has entered Dialog on Dating)
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:00:12 PM)
Hi c!
don juan (Apr 26, 2007 8:00:23 PM)
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Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:00:25 PM)
yes, but hopefully for not too much longer...
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:00:32 PM)
hello don juan!
don juan (Apr 26, 2007 8:00:37 PM)
hello
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:00:43 PM)
Carla and I are the cohosts tonight but Thea may give us her wise advice too.
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:00:58 PM)
hehe... oh, yeah... wise :)
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:01:01 PM)
Thea why don't you tell us how you found the right person!
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:01:04 PM)
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thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:01:08 PM)
well...
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:01:11 PM)
hi masetro
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:01:17 PM)
hello everyone
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:01:19 PM)
hello!
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:01:20 PM)
welcome
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:01:25 PM)
Hi
don juan (Apr 26, 2007 8:01:36 PM)
Pastor, my GF lives in a diffrent town, can I stay at her place when I go visit her?
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:01:46 PM)
good question!
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:01:49 PM)
real good one
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:02:01 PM)
Great question, has anyone else run into that
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:02:08 PM)
i have
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:02:11 PM)
definitely
chatmaster (Apr 26, 2007 8:02:14 PM)
Pastor Joe Johnson serves True North, a college campus ministry based on the University of MN-Twin Cities campus, but incorporating other campus ministries from the Midwest. He is married to Valerie, and they just recently welcomed a newborn daughter to their family. Prior to serving the students of True North, Pastor Johnson served St. John Lutheran Church of St. Paul, MN.
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:02:29 PM)
What are the dangers of staying together?
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:02:32 PM)
daughter?
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:02:50 PM)
Sorry I just had a newborn son, poor guy.
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:02:51 PM)
the dangers usually increase as you get closer to being completely alone
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:02:59 PM)
agreed
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:03:14 PM)
Don Juan, I think it all depends on the situation. Sometimes there is no problem at all.
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:03:17 PM)
congrats pastor J
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:03:18 PM)
definitly increased temptation... darkness
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:03:26 PM)
beds
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:03:49 PM)
does she live alone?
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:03:53 PM)
this is where being up front and honest also come into play. Both of the individuals need to be on the same page about what is appropriate
don juan (Apr 26, 2007 8:03:53 PM)
yes
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:03:59 PM)
is there also a concern for how it looks to other people, an almost mis-representing your Christian beliefs?
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:03:59 PM)
I have stayed at my girlfriend's house before and it was tough.
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:04:15 PM)
Tim's girls makes a really important point
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:04:21 PM)
don juan, "yes" to "she lives alone" ??
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:04:25 PM)
as christians we need to be aware of how it looks to others
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:04:52 PM)
When i stayed at her house it was tough when her parents were there.
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:05:15 PM)
pastor j, would have been even tougher if her parents weren't around
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:05:23 PM)
wouldn't it be easier if there is someone there? might the temptation be less?
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:05:44 PM)
One time I was asked by my girlfriend to stay at her house and it was just her and me. I knew if I stayed that night there would have been trouble.
don juan (Apr 26, 2007 8:05:46 PM)
that is the problem, how it looks to others, I can't afford losing my Christian image to others. yes to her living alone.
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:06:08 PM)
Representing Jesus to the world is tough.
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:06:12 PM)
is there anyone else you know that you could stay with nearby?
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:06:21 PM)
what do you do in a situation involving a cabin for the weekend, even if there is family staying there as well?
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:06:27 PM)
my experience has always been that there is a better option available
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:06:34 PM)
but it's often hard to pick better options
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:06:38 PM)
Lay down some groundrules.
don juan (Apr 26, 2007 8:06:39 PM)
I have stayed at hotels , but it gets expensive after few nights
chatmaster (Apr 26, 2007 8:06:53 PM)
LivingBold, WELS Web site for teens, has many articles written by teens for teens about dating. www.livingbold.net
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:07:00 PM)
What would be good groundrules?
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:07:11 PM)
separate bedrooms for starters!
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:07:15 PM)
agreed!
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:07:21 PM)
thanks tim's girl
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:07:28 PM)
i would prefer one that has a locking door...
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:07:28 PM)
i would say don't be alone too much
don juan (Apr 26, 2007 8:07:33 PM)
not kiss!!! not touch.?
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:07:35 PM)
good point
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:07:39 PM)
agreed
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:07:50 PM)
legalism isn't good either
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:07:57 PM)
and how about an agreed upon "bedtime" when you go your separate ways
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:08:05 PM)
that's a good suggestion, thea
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:08:06 PM)
thea ....good one
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:08:16 PM)
how true do you find the fact that peopel say if you both are committed enough to abstinence, you will be able to resist it?
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:08:29 PM)
I find it harder the closer you get.
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:08:30 PM)
nobody's above temptation tim's girl
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:08:36 PM)
true
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:08:37 PM)
true, pastor j
don juan (Apr 26, 2007 8:08:39 PM)
I dont know about that, been there.
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:09:10 PM)
I found that the closer we got as a couple the easier it was to fudge on the great rules you suggested.
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:09:15 PM)
agreed
c (Apr 26, 2007 8:09:27 PM)
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Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:09:28 PM)
the other big question is how do you know if you are following God's will with your dating life? namely how fast things are going... etc
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:09:32 PM)
and the more comfortable you are with each other...
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:09:50 PM)
Ironically when we prayed together we became very intimate spiritually and that easily led to the physical.
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:09:51 PM)
chances are if you think it might be wrong, it very likely is
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:09:59 PM)
That's true Maestro.
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:10:04 PM)
good point
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:10:15 PM)
your conscious is an important gift from God
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:10:28 PM)
It's like a road trip.
maidentinuviel (Apr 26, 2007 8:10:35 PM)
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don juan (Apr 26, 2007 8:10:38 PM)
Is this chat anonymos?
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:10:45 PM)
You have to decide where you are going together before you start. And how far you want to go.
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:10:47 PM)
yes, don juan
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:10:47 PM)
for sure
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:10:50 PM)
Yes.
chatmaster (Apr 26, 2007 8:10:58 PM)
yes the chat is anonymos
maidentinuviel (Apr 26, 2007 8:11:08 PM)
hey there!
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:11:12 PM)
hello!
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:11:12 PM)
welcome
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:11:21 PM)
We're talking about how far you can go in dating.
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:11:22 PM)
so if you've seemed to build your relationship around Christ from day one, is 7 or so months too soon to be engaged?
don juan (Apr 26, 2007 8:11:24 PM)
so what should i do folks?
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:11:34 PM)
about staying overnight?
don juan (Apr 26, 2007 8:11:39 PM)
yea
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:11:46 PM)
don, have you explored all the options?
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:11:48 PM)
i've heard of as short as 2 or 3
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:11:51 PM)
ok
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:11:59 PM)
have you discussed it with your girlfriend?
don juan (Apr 26, 2007 8:12:02 PM)
hotels?
maidentinuviel (Apr 26, 2007 8:12:04 PM)
7 months seems soon for me- there's so much you can experience as a couple before engagement
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:12:14 PM)
k
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:12:18 PM)
i don't think you can place a timetable on it, but of course you don't want to feel rushed into something
don juan (Apr 26, 2007 8:12:20 PM)
yes I stayed at a hotel and she was in her own house
maidentinuviel (Apr 26, 2007 8:12:22 PM)
and you will be suprised as time goes, first, how fast it goes, second how much you can learn.
chatmaster (Apr 26, 2007 8:12:38 PM)
REACT: When Pastor Johnson asked True North students what they thought about high school dating, one guy said, “I would denounce dating completely in high school, but know that is impossible.” Is dating that bad and to be completely avoided?
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:12:52 PM)
Tim's girl I think the older you get the less time you need to get engaged.
don juan (Apr 26, 2007 8:12:58 PM)
we just got together in day time and at night I went back to my room.
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:13:01 PM)
don juan how do you feel about it now
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:13:02 PM)
The younger you are the more time you should take.
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:13:04 PM)
what if you're young, say 22
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:13:15 PM)
ok
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:13:20 PM)
even so, I think it varies from person to person
maidentinuviel (Apr 26, 2007 8:13:24 PM)
it's different for everyone- spend lots of time together and pray!!!
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:13:26 PM)
agreed, thea
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:13:26 PM)
people's maturity varies
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:13:31 PM)
Tim's girl, how old is she?
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:13:46 PM)
she is me and i am 22, he is 29
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:14:01 PM)
Tim's girl, I'm kind of brain dead if you noticed. Sorry.
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:14:06 PM)
thats ok
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:14:10 PM)
:)
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:14:18 PM)
That's what comes from just having a kid!
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:14:19 PM)
it's ok, pastor j, you're probably just side-tracked with the new baby
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:14:23 PM)
he's actually sitting next to me and we got a chuckle out of that one
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:14:42 PM)
Tim's girl, if you're not sure do some pre-marriage classes together.
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:14:44 PM)
for sure for sure!
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:14:53 PM)
aren't you supposed to do those after engagement?
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:14:57 PM)
always a great idea...you will learn a lot and grow spirtually
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:15:08 PM)
Tim's Girl, no they are perfect before even better!!!!
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:15:08 PM)
always a great option even before!
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:15:11 PM)
we are definitely planning on doing that after engagement
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:15:17 PM)
k
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:15:37 PM)
That's fine, then ask your friends what they think about you two.
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:15:40 PM)
I didn't know pastors were willing to do them before
maidentinuviel (Apr 26, 2007 8:15:45 PM)
Making sure you are on the same page spiritually is one of the most important things.
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:15:55 PM)
well, everybody thinks its great
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:16:01 PM)
i can't imagine not wanting to....its a very mature thing to do
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:16:04 PM)
pastor j, how important do you feel "what friends think" should be?
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:16:14 PM)
yes maestro, thanks
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:16:18 PM)
it shows you are really thinking things through...i think most pastors would think its great
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:16:27 PM)
Maestro I think it is very important depending on your friends.
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:16:36 PM)
consider the sources
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:16:38 PM)
If my friends said no, I would really think about it.
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:16:48 PM)
christian friends vs. non christians friends especially
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:16:48 PM)
They can see from the outside.
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:16:53 PM)
I just wondered, cause I brought it up to my pastor on campus and he said to wait until after engagement, but then he would be happy to do it with us!
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:17:10 PM)
yes: love is blind
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:17:18 PM)
Tim's Girl, every pastor is different. My course is designed to go before or after.
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:17:35 PM)
too bad you're in minnesota! :)
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:17:51 PM)
Tim's girl you could ask for an evaluation class?
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:18:01 PM)
whats an evaluation class?
chatmaster (Apr 26, 2007 8:18:05 PM)
Focus on the Family sponsors Troubled With, a Web site dealing with life issues. Visit their dating section for Christian guidance, http://troubledwith.com/LoveandSex/Dating.cfm.
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:18:10 PM)
i just asked him the same thing!
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:18:12 PM)
good question
Saralynn (Apr 26, 2007 8:18:18 PM)
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carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:18:24 PM)
hi there saralynn
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:18:24 PM)
welcom!
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:18:26 PM)
welcome saralynn
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:18:27 PM)
hi sara
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:18:39 PM)
Tim's girl,I think basically you're asking him to evaluate whether or not you think you should be married.
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:19:09 PM)
Welcom saralynn, we're talking about engagement.
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:19:25 PM)
But any other topic on dating is welcome.
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:19:44 PM)
I asked my friends and my parents to evaluate my relationships. that was tough.
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:19:45 PM)
Tim's Girl, maybe I missed it... but how do your parents feel about the engagement issue?
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:19:48 PM)
thanks Pastor, I've done that
maidentinuviel (Apr 26, 2007 8:19:59 PM)
tim's girl, I think I'm in a similar point in my relationship. It would just be nice to have a checklist, wouldn't it?
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:20:07 PM)
my mom is fine with it, she's given her blessing. my dad isn't in the picture right now regarding it
Saralynn (Apr 26, 2007 8:20:08 PM)
Thanks for the welcome. I actually was looking on the WELS site for a research project and got sidetracked with this
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:20:17 PM)
yes maiden! it would!
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:20:30 PM)
I did have a checklist for a wife.
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:20:31 PM)
well, saralynn, you're sure to learn something here!
maidentinuviel (Apr 26, 2007 8:20:40 PM)
What did it say?
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:20:41 PM)
so did I, and Tim's met all 12 points!
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:20:43 PM)
let me guess pastor, Proverbs 31?
don juan (Apr 26, 2007 8:21:04 PM)
what is the checklist?
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:21:04 PM)
Actually no, Maestro, that's a super woman!!!!
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:21:12 PM)
yes it is
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:21:20 PM)
then what did you use, pastor?
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:21:21 PM)
First of all she had to be a Christian who could stand by me.
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:21:27 PM)
good
don juan (Apr 26, 2007 8:21:32 PM)
ok!
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:21:35 PM)
Then she had to compliment my weaknesses.
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:21:45 PM)
awe
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:21:49 PM)
And she had to share my dreams.
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:21:51 PM)
(and she does)
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:21:51 PM)
i have for sure found that dating without having the same faith brings great temptations
don juan (Apr 26, 2007 8:21:51 PM)
cute
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:22:02 PM)
and great headaches
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:22:02 PM)
lol...i agree cute
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:22:05 PM)
And she had to love the west coast!!!
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:22:07 PM)
pastor, so you had to know yourself pretty well before you could find someone to complement your weaknesses??
don juan (Apr 26, 2007 8:22:15 PM)
not so cute
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:22:23 PM)
Actually I didn't realize I had a list until I met her.
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:22:29 PM)
it's always good to know yourself before expecting to be able to find that someone for you
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:22:30 PM)
with my list, I had two points that i would not even consider not being met: 1. same faith, 2. couldn't drink/smoke/do drugs
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:22:37 PM)
i think that is often the case
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:22:43 PM)
Then I tried to find reasons not to marry her.
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:23:02 PM)
I failed.
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:23:03 PM)
i did that as well, with my husband
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:23:04 PM)
good stratedgy
don juan (Apr 26, 2007 8:23:20 PM)
which is your wife Pastor?
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:23:32 PM)
My wife is unfortunately in the hospital tonight.
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:23:39 PM)
im the sub!
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:23:41 PM)
Carla and thea know her well.
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:23:46 PM)
and i'm just tagging along
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:23:47 PM)
:)
don juan (Apr 26, 2007 8:23:52 PM)
hm, why? sorry to hear that.
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:23:58 PM)
baby!
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:23:58 PM)
happy news!
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:24:07 PM)
yep
don juan (Apr 26, 2007 8:24:16 PM)
oh, then congrats
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:24:18 PM)
don juan...we haven't forgotten about your question....is this overnight happening soon?
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:24:43 PM)
A friend of mine said the worst thing about dating was the temptation.
don juan (Apr 26, 2007 8:24:45 PM)
In couple a weeks
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:25:24 PM)
do you think it would be a strong temptation to stay there?
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:25:37 PM)
i had this same situation while in college... and the thing that was the best to keep us out of any tempting situations, besides that my roomate and I shared a studio apartment, was just having her there
don juan (Apr 26, 2007 8:25:42 PM)
yeah, it is not easy
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:26:01 PM)
is there a way you can make it a "sleepover" with many other friends there?
Saralynn (Apr 26, 2007 8:26:05 PM)
Just curious what the original question was?
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:26:17 PM)
wait, did we establish that there ISNT a hotel near by??
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:26:24 PM)
Can you stay overnight at the Girlfriends house?
Saralynn (Apr 26, 2007 8:26:31 PM)
thanks.
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:27:06 PM)
Don Juan what if you fail? What happens to the relationship?
don juan (Apr 26, 2007 8:27:19 PM)
there is ahotel near by, and I have stayed at hotels, but your talking 50-100 dollars a night.
don juan (Apr 26, 2007 8:27:28 PM)
fail in what?
maidentinuviel (Apr 26, 2007 8:27:29 PM)
sleep in your car
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:27:36 PM)
oh
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:27:48 PM)
yes, gotcha... i didn't realize it was for an extended period of time
don juan (Apr 26, 2007 8:27:48 PM)
haha, not much leg room
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:28:04 PM)
Does she have a home church?
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:28:06 PM)
hey, i did it every thursday night for a semester in college, it works!
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:28:07 PM)
if it is not possible to keep staying at hotels i think its good to go back to pastor j's idea of ground rules
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:28:45 PM)
hey, i think they need to come back with the whole chastity belt thing... it would make life easier huh?
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:28:50 PM)
hehe
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:28:52 PM)
LOL
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:28:53 PM)
Does she have friends you can stay with.
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:29:23 PM)
i think pastor has a valid point.... either friends of hers, or if the congregation or church she goes to has members that would be willing to house you
don juan (Apr 26, 2007 8:29:44 PM)
I have friends
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:29:48 PM)
i have had many friends that have stayed with members of area congregations while travelling
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:29:49 PM)
for sure....in a lot of churches there are people that would be happy to accomodate a young church member for the weekend
chatmaster (Apr 26, 2007 8:29:56 PM)
STATISTICS: In a recent survey of 4600 teens ages 12-17, 10% said they had been dating their significant other for more than a year, and 33% said they have a boyfriend or girlfriend. More than 50% said they go on dates regularly. Of those with boyfriends or girlfriends, over 50% said their relationship causes them stress.
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:30:08 PM)
no brainer, don juan, stay with your friends!
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:30:17 PM)
i thought the last stat would have been much higher
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:30:24 PM)
It was for me!
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:30:29 PM)
not for me
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:30:35 PM)
lucky :)
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:30:36 PM)
I didn't date until college
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:30:41 PM)
That's awesome!
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:30:42 PM)
or i should say blessed right :)
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:30:59 PM)
Maestro do you think it wise to date in HS?
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:31:07 PM)
for me, no
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:31:10 PM)
but maybe for others
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:31:11 PM)
however, had I waited until college I wouldn't be married to the man who is my husband
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:31:18 PM)
good point
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:31:22 PM)
Are you arguine for or against thea?
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:31:27 PM)
hehe
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:31:27 PM)
yes, my first date was in december 06 with the guy sitting next to me!
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:31:28 PM)
funny
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:31:42 PM)
that's wonderful, tim's girl!
don juan (Apr 26, 2007 8:31:57 PM)
ok , thank you,
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:31:58 PM)
unfortunately, i had a few failed attempts at dating in hs
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:32:10 PM)
I know I wasn't ready in High School! So did I.
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:32:10 PM)
no worries thea many of us have :)
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:32:19 PM)
but i found my husband three months before graduation
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:32:20 PM)
i don't see much point to it in high school
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:32:24 PM)
there's too many variables
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:32:29 PM)
You don't know yourself.
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:32:35 PM)
usually college on the horizon
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:32:40 PM)
thea- h.s. or college?
maidentinuviel (Apr 26, 2007 8:32:41 PM)
group dating is a good idea, just have fun!
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:32:46 PM)
HS
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:32:46 PM)
still discovering all of who/what you are
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:32:47 PM)
never mind
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:32:55 PM)
and we stayed together through four years of college
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:33:05 PM)
and have now been married almost a year
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:33:09 PM)
has it been that long??
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:33:10 PM)
haha
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:33:14 PM)
that's great, thea
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:33:22 PM)
i think that it depends.. i dont think all high schoolers should date but I dont necissarily think its a bad idea either
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:33:29 PM)
but of course, it doesn't happen for everyone
secret (Apr 26, 2007 8:33:38 PM)
(This user has entered Dialog on Dating)
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:33:42 PM)
from dating in high school you can learn a lot about who you are and are no compatible with
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:33:46 PM)
hi secret
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:33:48 PM)
this is another one of those person to person things
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:33:53 PM)
agreed
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:34:03 PM)
I have a friend who said dating should be outlawed in high school. A little extreme.
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:34:10 PM)
oh goodness
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:34:14 PM)
right, definitly got to weed out the "he can't have THIS characteristic"
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:34:14 PM)
and i'm not saying that hs dating can't work out for the long-term (marriage), just that it doesn't for most and that the odds are usually against long-term success
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:34:19 PM)
i think you can have some good experiences with it
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:34:20 PM)
proms would be pretty lame then :)
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:34:30 PM)
they kinda are anyway
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:34:31 PM)
:P
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:34:35 PM)
true a lot changes from hs to college
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:34:41 PM)
lol
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:34:43 PM)
you grow a lot
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:34:43 PM)
agreed thea
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:34:45 PM)
its like that saying, it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all- i kind of would have liked to have some experience instead of just diving into this!
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:34:56 PM)
but in my case, we got to grow together, even though we were at different colleges
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:34:58 PM)
i skipped my junior hs prom to play paintball and camp with 5 other guys
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:34:59 PM)
good point
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:35:07 PM)
I'm with maestro.
maidentinuviel (Apr 26, 2007 8:35:09 PM)
that's true, it's nice to know what you DON"T want
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:35:18 PM)
thats sort of how i feel about it
Saralynn (Apr 26, 2007 8:35:24 PM)
how long does this chat go on for? very interesting just need to get back to researching :)
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:35:30 PM)
til nine
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:35:31 PM)
but sometimes i wonder if my dating experiences in college would have been different had i done some dating in hs
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:35:32 PM)
What do you want out of a date in high school?
Saralynn (Apr 26, 2007 8:35:43 PM)
thanks.
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:35:48 PM)
Is it different from college?
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:35:50 PM)
perhaps... but yeah, good ? pj
maidentinuviel (Apr 26, 2007 8:36:01 PM)
I found it's more of a status thing in hs.
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:36:08 PM)
interesting point
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:36:10 PM)
VERY ture, maiden
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:36:14 PM)
I was looking for some self esteem.
maidentinuviel (Apr 26, 2007 8:36:16 PM)
it kinda just makes you feel good
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:36:21 PM)
status, and a "this is what we're supposed to do" mentality
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:36:28 PM)
right, thea
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:37:01 PM)
self esteem is something i seriously lack - i can't even stomach it when tim tells me im the most beautiful woman in the world.. should this concern me?
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:37:03 PM)
it's the time in your life when you stop thinking the opposite sex has cooties... so then you are supposed to do something about that
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:37:29 PM)
if you're the most beautiful, then my husband has been lying to me!!!
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:37:30 PM)
:)
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:37:32 PM)
hehe
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:37:35 PM)
Tim's girl, many women are in this boat.
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:37:35 PM)
lol thea
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:37:46 PM)
seriously, though
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:37:51 PM)
My wife doesn't believe me at times when I tell her she's awesome.
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:37:51 PM)
it's a hard thing to stomach
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:37:54 PM)
is anyone else hearing strands of "i only have eyes for you"?
maidentinuviel (Apr 26, 2007 8:38:10 PM)
Yeah, and I love it!
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:38:24 PM)
What did Eve notice the first thing after sin?
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:38:28 PM)
She noticed flaws.
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:38:35 PM)
speaking of, those of you moving toward engagement, do you struggle with doubts of "how do I know this person will love me forever?"
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:38:43 PM)
YES!!
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:38:45 PM)
YES TOTALLY< ABSOLUTELY
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:38:46 PM)
good question thea
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:38:55 PM)
you almost read my mind on that one
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:39:00 PM)
this is something that hits home for me, coming from a home of divorced parents
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:39:00 PM)
thats again where prayer comes in
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:39:19 PM)
especially since my parents are going through a messy divorce right now... its scary to think about how we would do!
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:39:21 PM)
and something i struggled with a TON
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:39:32 PM)
geeze thea, you beat me to it
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:39:43 PM)
A friend of mine is terrified of a relationship because of divorce in the family.
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:39:57 PM)
I have struggled with real trust issues in relationships
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:40:08 PM)
but yes, as carla said, PRAYER and more prayer
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:40:12 PM)
That's where the person you're dating--their family comes in.
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:40:17 PM)
yes it does!!!!!
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:40:19 PM)
so much
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:40:22 PM)
Are they still together?
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:40:22 PM)
i must say, my parents didnt start out with the same faith and my mom got pregnant with my brother before they were married. she practically told my dad he HAD to marry her
maidentinuviel (Apr 26, 2007 8:40:28 PM)
Trust God, trust your partner- it's all about committment
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:40:44 PM)
working on your trust relationship with God will help your trust relationships with others, because God is watching over those relationships too
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:40:48 PM)
and communication with one another
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:40:54 PM)
good point maiden...again how do we know anything for certain...we have to trust and put our faith in god
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:40:55 PM)
amen ,thea
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:41:00 PM)
exactly
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:41:07 PM)
trust. yikes!
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:41:10 PM)
hehe
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:41:16 PM)
What's the definition of love--in I love you forever?
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:41:24 PM)
it's rough, and it may get easier, but it never really gets solved all together
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:41:26 PM)
the question of all questions!
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:41:34 PM)
cause we're human... we never really trust completely
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:41:34 PM)
What can last forever?
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:41:38 PM)
as tim and i say, its a choice to love one another
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:41:48 PM)
very true tim's girl
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:41:49 PM)
we are choosing to love that person for forever
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:41:52 PM)
only God lasts forever
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:42:04 PM)
HIS love, HIS faithfulness, HIS committment to us
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:42:06 PM)
agreed thea
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:42:08 PM)
well, actually it was out of the Eric and Leslie Ludy book, When God Writes your Love Story
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:42:19 PM)
Good book!
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:42:22 PM)
i read it
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:42:26 PM)
Love is an act of the will.
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:42:28 PM)
from Pastor J's library
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:42:30 PM)
:)
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:42:32 PM)
yeah, we read and discussed it together
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:42:40 PM)
great!
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:42:41 PM)
we are almost done with it, two or so chapters to go
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:42:51 PM)
any other ones you can suggest?
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:42:55 PM)
its awesome that you are studying like that together
maidentinuviel (Apr 26, 2007 8:42:57 PM)
"He who did not spare his own Son... how will he not also give us all good things?" I think we underestimate God's goodness
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:43:09 PM)
i know, i love it
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:43:29 PM)
Maidentinuviel, how so? I'm not necessarily disagreeing.
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:43:38 PM)
studying God's Word together makes a great foundation for an excellent marriage
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:43:54 PM)
no other books to suggest.. sorry tim's girl
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:44:02 PM)
yes tim and i do nightly devotions together, since december 20th
maidentinuviel (Apr 26, 2007 8:44:05 PM)
well, when it comes down to the decision, you just need to ask God's blessing- and he will bless your marriage!
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:44:11 PM)
Sorry Tim's girl, I can't see my library.
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:44:16 PM)
thats ok
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:44:23 PM)
im sure we will find other books eventually
chatmaster (Apr 26, 2007 8:44:27 PM)
WELS.net has an entire section of its Q&A devoted to dating. You can ask questions there too. Visit www.wels.net/jump/qa
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:44:31 PM)
M, You're right. the power of God definitely teaches me to love.
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:44:34 PM)
i remember reading another from PJ's library... but I can't remember what it was called
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:44:39 PM)
great!! a solid foundation of studying together is awesome
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:44:51 PM)
tim's girl, my girlfriend and I read through a book titled "before the ring" you can find it on www.nph.net
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:44:58 PM)
theres a book called when boy meets girl, but the author escapes me, anyone heard of it?
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:45:02 PM)
cool
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:45:21 PM)
I liked "Why Wait" by Josh McDowell but that dealt mainly with sex.
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:45:28 PM)
k
maidentinuviel (Apr 26, 2007 8:45:29 PM)
I think it's Josh Harris, same author as "I kissed dating goodbye"
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:45:36 PM)
yes, josh harris
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:45:42 PM)
That is a neat concept to think about.
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:45:50 PM)
just in case you're searching NPH for couples devotional stuff
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:45:51 PM)
They say arranged marriages last longer.
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:45:52 PM)
pastor j, is this whole dating thing one of the most, if not the most prominent topic for your college campus ministry?
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:46:01 PM)
there is a book i want you to steer clear of
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:46:04 PM)
i think i might take my chances :)
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:46:14 PM)
called simply "Couples' Devotional Bible"
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:46:20 PM)
ok
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:46:25 PM)
why, might i ask?
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:46:26 PM)
my husband and I started it on our wedding night....
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:46:30 PM)
Maestro, not so much--lots of other things going on.
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:46:36 PM)
and we have found maybe one devotion that is actually a devotion
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:46:43 PM)
thanks for the tip
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:46:52 PM)
we actually enjoy the meditations book everynight
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:46:59 PM)
the rest are terrible, and some even boardering on "blasphemous" and not at all what we believe
spaceboy (Apr 26, 2007 8:47:12 PM)
(This user has entered Dialog on Dating)
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:47:15 PM)
great advice thea
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:47:18 PM)
he is in the plans of writing to the publishing house about it
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:47:19 PM)
hi spaceboy
spaceboy (Apr 26, 2007 8:47:26 PM)
hello
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:47:29 PM)
hi space boy
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:47:49 PM)
What's the best one piece of advice you could give to someone dating?
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:48:03 PM)
be HONEST THE WHOLE TIME
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:48:09 PM)
good
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:48:11 PM)
dont pretend to be someone youre not
spaceboy (Apr 26, 2007 8:48:18 PM)
make sure you can trust the one you are dating
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:48:25 PM)
and be honest with yourself... you can't hide from God
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:48:29 PM)
i think i already mentioned this but its worth repeating...faith matters. dating someone who does not share your faith brings HUGE temptations
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:48:37 PM)
yes it does carla
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:48:46 PM)
that should be number one on peoples lists
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:48:51 PM)
i agree tim's girl...i told my girlfriend when we started dating that "be yourself" was one of the ground rules
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:48:53 PM)
my husband is the first guy I dated that shared my faith
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:48:54 PM)
then theres no questions
maidentinuviel (Apr 26, 2007 8:48:56 PM)
Try to get to know the person before starting to date them- you can avoid lots of problems this way
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:49:05 PM)
One thing I regretted with one person was that I cared more for us than her relationship with God.
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:49:12 PM)
goood point maiden
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:49:21 PM)
pastor j, that's a good point
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:49:33 PM)
yes, building up in faith is so important
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:49:33 PM)
She studied the Bible but I still regret that.
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:49:37 PM)
something to watch out for - caring for the other person more than their relationship with
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:49:43 PM)
God or your relationship with God
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:49:46 PM)
to go back i think that is one of the dangers of hs dating....caring more about the relationship than God
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:50:11 PM)
always ALWAYS keep God as the center of any earthly relationship
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:50:28 PM)
And I also am a guy so the "sex" thing was also always in my mind.
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:50:39 PM)
i can relate to that pastor
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:50:46 PM)
That's hard to worship God and look at her
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:50:49 PM)
as a child of God
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:50:56 PM)
while I'm also thinking
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:51:03 PM)
of her as a woman that I wanted.
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:51:21 PM)
do you still feel that way even being married?
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:51:25 PM)
Scary thing when you think you're dating a daughter of the king!
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:51:36 PM)
Thea, no!!!!! Now I'm supposed to!!!!
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:51:39 PM)
hehe
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:51:40 PM)
lol
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:51:42 PM)
excellent
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:51:49 PM)
A friend said he got married
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:51:53 PM)
for guilt free sex!
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:51:58 PM)
He's a pastor now.
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:52:05 PM)
please, no names
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:52:06 PM)
hehe
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:52:07 PM)
whoa, not good
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:52:08 PM)
lol...i was going to ask if he was divorced
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:52:15 PM)
yeah, wow
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:52:30 PM)
i wouldn't recommend that as a good reason for getting married
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:52:40 PM)
Think of Song of solomon and how
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:52:46 PM)
to me, sex better not be the top reason to marry someone at all
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:52:47 PM)
im good agree with thea
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:52:48 PM)
God wanted us to really enjoy life with each other
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:52:59 PM)
It's not a substitue for love
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:53:03 PM)
but an expression of it.
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:53:08 PM)
amen pastor j
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:53:11 PM)
yeah
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:53:33 PM)
Have you guys ever thought that while dating you have to be faithful to your future spouse?
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:53:33 PM)
thats also the trick about hs dating, to go back again, that high schoolers do not always understand that sex is suppose to be an expression of love
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:53:40 PM)
YES, pastor
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:53:47 PM)
thats a great way to think about it
maidentinuviel (Apr 26, 2007 8:53:48 PM)
absolutely
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:53:55 PM)
it puts things into perspective
maidentinuviel (Apr 26, 2007 8:53:56 PM)
which is why sometimes I regreat hs relationships
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:54:03 PM)
agree with you maiden
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:54:08 PM)
Me too maiden.
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:54:24 PM)
Sex and love is so powerful it's like gasoline!
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 8:54:29 PM)
thankfully, God's grace has taken care of all the mishaps of hs relationships
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:54:30 PM)
well, ive never really thought about it since i've only dated tim... i guess i didnt have a chance to think what I was doing was not being faithful because i never had a chance to do anything! :)
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:54:39 PM)
great point maestro!
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:54:55 PM)
but you still need to be faithful to him as your future spouse, even though you aren't yet married
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:54:55 PM)
not that i wanted to have a chance or anything...
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:54:59 PM)
yes
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:55:15 PM)
even if you think the man you are with will be the man you are going to marry... that is no reason to fall into sin
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:55:26 PM)
100% agree thea
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:55:31 PM)
for sure agree
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:55:31 PM)
tim and i are working so hard at it
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:55:37 PM)
i have known people who use that as an excuse to sleep with their bf or gf
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:55:48 PM)
"well, we're going to get married so..."
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:56:01 PM)
yeah thea, it doesnt make it right
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:56:02 PM)
you never know what will happen, so you need to remain faithful
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:56:02 PM)
well it sounds like you are both on the same page so keep praying and studying his word!
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:56:19 PM)
I found that the law only kept me honest so long
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:56:24 PM)
for sure... and congrats on a great relationship that you seem to be building!
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:56:25 PM)
yes, God doesnt say you can have sex if you know you will one day marry the person
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:56:26 PM)
then it was God's grace that really helped!
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:56:40 PM)
yes. tim's girl
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:56:41 PM)
for sure, PJ
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:56:57 PM)
The idea that we can be clean and new and start over
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:57:02 PM)
forgiveness is so wonderful
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:57:05 PM)
when I think about all that God has done for me... how could I do anything but want to do His will?
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:57:07 PM)
from God and for each other
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:57:14 PM)
yes, as long as you are not going into thinking that God will forgive you
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:57:23 PM)
exactly thea
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:57:36 PM)
that's like premeditated murder...
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:57:39 PM)
Have you guys heard of 2nd virginity?
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:57:42 PM)
yes
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:57:46 PM)
no
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:57:56 PM)
It's the idea that God has washed us clean
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:58:03 PM)
and that in his eyes we are perfect
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:58:08 PM)
and that means that even our sex life
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 8:58:16 PM)
is forgiven and we are virgins in his sight
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:58:21 PM)
what a beautiful idea!
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:58:29 PM)
yay God!
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:58:31 PM)
:)
hottdiscostudd (Apr 26, 2007 8:58:38 PM)
(This user has entered Dialog on Dating)
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:58:40 PM)
for sure, carla
thea (Apr 26, 2007 8:58:46 PM)
:)
carla (Apr 26, 2007 8:58:47 PM)
welcome hottdiscostudd
hottdiscostudd (Apr 26, 2007 8:59:03 PM)
hello
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:59:08 PM)
ahh, does it have to end? we should do a dating continued chat
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 8:59:57 PM)
darn
thea (Apr 26, 2007 9:00:02 PM)
sorry
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 9:00:10 PM)
thanks to everyone for participating
carla (Apr 26, 2007 9:00:10 PM)
chatmaster can we keep going?
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 9:00:15 PM)
yeah?
maestro (Apr 26, 2007 9:00:21 PM)
and thanks to pastor j for hosting
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 9:00:27 PM)
is that possible? or does the screen self distruct at 9pm
maidentinuviel (Apr 26, 2007 9:00:28 PM)
yeah, thanks pastor!
carla (Apr 26, 2007 9:00:29 PM)
yay pj
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 9:00:37 PM)
God's blessins guys!
thea (Apr 26, 2007 9:00:37 PM)
pj you rock
carla (Apr 26, 2007 9:00:38 PM)
lol
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 9:00:40 PM)
thanks so much everyone
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 9:00:46 PM)
That's what my wife says thea
thea (Apr 26, 2007 9:00:49 PM)
thanks for participating!
thea (Apr 26, 2007 9:00:52 PM)
i know she does
thea (Apr 26, 2007 9:00:54 PM)
:)
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 9:01:03 PM)
God's blessings to everyone on current or future relationships!
thea (Apr 26, 2007 9:01:05 PM)
she tells me, too
chatmaster (Apr 26, 2007 9:01:05 PM)
it will shut off. please use the logout on the right side of your screen
thea (Apr 26, 2007 9:01:15 PM)
goodnight guys
Pastor J. (Apr 26, 2007 9:01:15 PM)
By guys!
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 9:01:18 PM)
Have a great night!
thea (Apr 26, 2007 9:01:24 PM)
see you in a couple weeks, TN people
thea (Apr 26, 2007 9:01:28 PM)
:)
carla (Apr 26, 2007 9:01:28 PM)
you too! God's blessings!
Tim's Girl (Apr 26, 2007 9:01:31 PM)
bye
thea (Apr 26, 2007 9:01:33 PM)
same to you!