I also have trouble with picking the right friends. I often times find myself having friends with issues such as spirits(of depression, of anger, ect) or that have a very bad influence on me. I just don't know how to find the right friends. Also, I have some problems with guys. I was friends with a guy, but his crush on me became so big that it was unbearable, so I had to stop being friends with him, and then their is another guy friend who has a spirit of depression and "loves" me. It gets very overbearing sometimes. I have an overall challenge of dealing with people.
Alex wrote on June 15, 2008 at 10:02 PM:
i struggle with picking the right friends sometimes. But it's never too serious. i have just recently stuggled with my dogs death too. i just pray to God for strength and courage.
Emily wrote on January 30, 2008 at 11:29 AM:
Thats would be kind of weird. Try talking to them about how you feel and maybe they can help.
Rachel Bredendick wrote on January 25, 2008 at 8:22 PM:
Well I go to a WELS school that both my parents teach at so it's kinda hard because like there are guys that like me but won't really show it becasuse of the fact that my parents work there. And aslo because they work there I don't really get to be a teenager I always have to be working and I don't ever really get to spend time with my friends.
Hester wrote on January 17, 2008 at 10:42 AM:
Rachael: I think you just have to talk it out. Do it when things are pretty calm, not when there is tension. Go to your mom when things are calm and say, "Mom, I really need to talk to you. Can we schedule a time to go and talk abou tsome things that are troubling me?" My guess is she will take this seriously and be very interested. She may even be so concerned that she says, "What' the matter, honey? Can we talk now?" It would be a good idea to begin the talk with a short prayer that God help you both to share with each other in a loving way and get out what needs to be discused.
Whenever you talk, begin by calmly saying, "Mom, I love you and appreciate all you do for me. I know that you love me, too. I know that I am not always the asiest person to get along with, but it really troubles me that we can't seem to ever agree on things. How can we work together to make this better?" Keep the conversation calm and loving. Try not to let you emotions take over. Make the conversation two-way: you really listening to her as well as sharing with her. Show her the respect God commands, but also respectfully help her to see that you are growing to be an adult woman now, too.
If it seems like this is not working, and you and your mom cannot se eye to eye, then calmly say, "Mom, we are not getting anywhere with this. What do you say we go talk together to pastor and let his objective viewpoint help us?" If she says she won't go it, the you do it; you go talk to your pastor or some other trusted adult, so your feeligns can be let out.
However you do it or whoever hleps, the key is to calmly talk things through. As you are older now, your role changes to where you have to treat issues more adult like, by talking, thinking, reasoning with your parents. Rolling eyes, stuomping off, back-talking, and slamming doors does not help anymore. It never really did! You want to be treated liake an adult, then you need to act like one. This is not always easy, as these are also emotional times for you, but this is the best way to go.
Your mom's role also is changing as you get older. She needs to go from being a loving law-giver, telling you what to do and when, to more of a counselor, talking with you and helping you see the bigger picture, ponder results of your actions, make good decisions, etc. She needs to offer you advice, encouragement, and insights and less and less tell you what to do. This change is just as hard for her as your change is for you.
You are in my prayers. Kee trying to talk. Keep at it. Keep calm. Keep Jesus in your heart as you do it all. It will work out, you'll see.
Emily wrote on January 16, 2008 at 4:05 PM:
Rachael i suggest that you try to keep honest communication going. Keep talking and express your feelings. Good luck!
Rachael wrote on January 15, 2008 at 6:44 PM:
My relationship with my mother has been struggling lately. We can't seem to agree on anything. I was just wondering what you and your mother have done to keep your communication between you and her strong.
Emily Berkevich wrote on December 31, 2007 at 10:43 AM:
I think in our day in age dating is overrated. People take it to seriously and think they have to get started at an early age. When I got into high school I told myself that dating would just cause stress and I would loose concentration on doing my best for the Lord. My suggestion is that you wait to date until you have your careers or life in order. Wait to date until something can actually come out of it, such as marraige. Besides the reason people date is so that they can find that special someone to spend the rest of their lives with. Instead of dating, just be good friendds with the person. Sometimes its better to have a friend then a boyfriend.
Anonymous wrote on December 14, 2007 at 1:12 PM:
Hosanna, not necessarily a confidence issue at all. And not all guys want "to see the girl in control." I always tell the people I date rule number one is be yuorself. And ask lots of questions...it's how you really get to know a person well!! another thing I tell people I date is what my expectations are - if you're just looking for a good time ("let's just be friends" kind of thing), let the guy know that up front, otherwise it could cause a lot of confusion/hurt feelings/awkwardness or whatever later on...
Hosanna wrote on December 13, 2007 at 11:19 PM:
guys are challenges too! I am 17 and single, Christian. I have never dated. Possibly a confidence issue? I know guys like confidence...to see the girl in control. I just wish there was some way that we could khow what guys are thinking about us! For ex, there is a guy who maybe is interested in me- who knows? how do i know? do i ask him out? what makes it easier for a guy to ask out a girl? why are we challenges? in a relationship, i want companionship, fun (the GOOD kind), and trust. I want purity. But, as i am pretty crazy and hyper a lot, i love a good time!
Zamboni wrote on December 5, 2007 at 3:43 PM:
Stephen: I don't think they understand guys so well (and vice versa). Any kind of relationship seems to be a challenge today. Everyone "expects" something from it. The more we put the other person first and ourself last, the less the challenge.
Stephen wrote on December 5, 2007 at 3:08 PM:
Good question, I guess i just do and don't realize it... my question is how do girls become such a challenge?
From relationships, to school, to family and friends...we face a ton of challenges. How do you deal with it all?
12 Comments
I also have trouble with picking the right friends. I often times find myself having friends with issues such as spirits(of depression, of anger, ect) or that have a very bad influence on me. I just don't know how to find the right friends. Also, I have some problems with guys. I was friends with a guy, but his crush on me became so big that it was unbearable, so I had to stop being friends with him, and then their is another guy friend who has a spirit of depression and "loves" me. It gets very overbearing sometimes. I have an overall challenge of dealing with people.
i struggle with picking the right friends sometimes. But it's never too serious. i have just recently stuggled with my dogs death too. i just pray to God for strength and courage.
Thats would be kind of weird. Try talking to them about how you feel and maybe they can help.
Well I go to a WELS school that both my parents teach at so it's kinda hard because like there are guys that like me but won't really show it becasuse of the fact that my parents work there. And aslo because they work there I don't really get to be a teenager I always have to be working and I don't ever really get to spend time with my friends.
Rachael: I think you just have to talk it out. Do it when things are pretty calm, not when there is tension. Go to your mom when things are calm and say, "Mom, I really need to talk to you. Can we schedule a time to go and talk abou tsome things that are troubling me?" My guess is she will take this seriously and be very interested. She may even be so concerned that she says, "What' the matter, honey? Can we talk now?" It would be a good idea to begin the talk with a short prayer that God help you both to share with each other in a loving way and get out what needs to be discused.
Whenever you talk, begin by calmly saying, "Mom, I love you and appreciate all you do for me. I know that you love me, too. I know that I am not always the asiest person to get along with, but it really troubles me that we can't seem to ever agree on things. How can we work together to make this better?" Keep the conversation calm and loving. Try not to let you emotions take over. Make the conversation two-way: you really listening to her as well as sharing with her. Show her the respect God commands, but also respectfully help her to see that you are growing to be an adult woman now, too.
If it seems like this is not working, and you and your mom cannot se eye to eye, then calmly say, "Mom, we are not getting anywhere with this. What do you say we go talk together to pastor and let his objective viewpoint help us?" If she says she won't go it, the you do it; you go talk to your pastor or some other trusted adult, so your feeligns can be let out.
However you do it or whoever hleps, the key is to calmly talk things through. As you are older now, your role changes to where you have to treat issues more adult like, by talking, thinking, reasoning with your parents. Rolling eyes, stuomping off, back-talking, and slamming doors does not help anymore. It never really did! You want to be treated liake an adult, then you need to act like one. This is not always easy, as these are also emotional times for you, but this is the best way to go.
Your mom's role also is changing as you get older. She needs to go from being a loving law-giver, telling you what to do and when, to more of a counselor, talking with you and helping you see the bigger picture, ponder results of your actions, make good decisions, etc. She needs to offer you advice, encouragement, and insights and less and less tell you what to do. This change is just as hard for her as your change is for you.
You are in my prayers. Kee trying to talk. Keep at it. Keep calm. Keep Jesus in your heart as you do it all. It will work out, you'll see.
Rachael i suggest that you try to keep honest communication going. Keep talking and express your feelings. Good luck!
My relationship with my mother has been struggling lately. We can't seem to agree on anything. I was just wondering what you and your mother have done to keep your communication between you and her strong.
I think in our day in age dating is overrated. People take it to seriously and think they have to get started at an early age. When I got into high school I told myself that dating would just cause stress and I would loose concentration on doing my best for the Lord. My suggestion is that you wait to date until you have your careers or life in order. Wait to date until something can actually come out of it, such as marraige. Besides the reason people date is so that they can find that special someone to spend the rest of their lives with. Instead of dating, just be good friendds with the person. Sometimes its better to have a friend then a boyfriend.
Hosanna, not necessarily a confidence issue at all. And not all guys want "to see the girl in control." I always tell the people I date rule number one is be yuorself. And ask lots of questions...it's how you really get to know a person well!! another thing I tell people I date is what my expectations are - if you're just looking for a good time ("let's just be friends" kind of thing), let the guy know that up front, otherwise it could cause a lot of confusion/hurt feelings/awkwardness or whatever later on...
guys are challenges too! I am 17 and single, Christian. I have never dated. Possibly a confidence issue? I know guys like confidence...to see the girl in control. I just wish there was some way that we could khow what guys are thinking about us! For ex, there is a guy who maybe is interested in me- who knows? how do i know? do i ask him out? what makes it easier for a guy to ask out a girl? why are we challenges? in a relationship, i want companionship, fun (the GOOD kind), and trust. I want purity. But, as i am pretty crazy and hyper a lot, i love a good time!
Stephen: I don't think they understand guys so well (and vice versa). Any kind of relationship seems to be a challenge today. Everyone "expects" something from it. The more we put the other person first and ourself last, the less the challenge.
Good question, I guess i just do and don't realize it... my question is how do girls become such a challenge?