Living Together Before Marriage
By Mark Ochsankehl
The 6th Commandment says, "You shall not commit adultery."
In Ephesians 5:3 it says, "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people."
Living together before marriage, in fact, having any kind of sex outside of marriage is committing adultery and is far more than just a "hint" of sexual immorality.
But did you know that approximately 5 million Americans live together outside marriage? Did you know that more than 60% of couples live together before marriage. Perhaps you did. But have you heard the other statistics?
Did you know that the women in these affairs experience higher levels of depression and lower levels of communication and commitment than those in a godly, biblical relationship? Did you know that more than 60% of these women are more likely to be assaulted and their children endangered than those in a godly, biblical relationship? Did you know that couples living in sin increase their odds of divorce by 50% and that only 15 out of every 100 couples that live together in sin before marriage are still married after 10 years?
The negative statistics are staggering. People think they are preparing for marriage when they are really preparing for divorce.
Couples who opt to live together rather than for marriage are rebelling against God's Word and his instructions for getting the most out of life. They don't understand that the consequences of living together before marriage are devastating, especially when you consider how they are destroying their relationship with God by living in unrepentant sin. They are allowing themselves to be used by their partner and by Satan. Instead of training for marriage, they are training themselves to find ways to get out of a relationship if it goes sour. They see that marriage requires significant sacrifices that they are not willing to make. They don't see that they are gaining nothing by living in sin before marriage.
Marriage is God's perfect plan for building a lifelong, satisfying relationship between a man and a woman. It works not because your partner is always so wonderful or because marriage relationships are always ideal, but because God has put his blessing on marriage. It works best when a Christian man, grateful for forgiveness in Jesus, treats his wife with the same love and forgiveness Jesus gave him. It works best when a Christian woman, grateful for forgiveness in Jesus, treats her husband with the same respect and submission as Christians show their Savior. That kind of a relationship is impossible without a commitment to lifelong Christ-honoring marriage.
So you want a marriage partner you can always depend on and a marriage that will last "until death parts us"? Look for someone who has faith in Christ, someone who is deeply committed to God-pleasing marriage, and someone who rejects living in sin.